Hey man sorry I got all grabby
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
