I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
