If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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