Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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