Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
