how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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