How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
