she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
