Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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