i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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