don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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