we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
