dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I am midnight drunk by noon
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
