You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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