Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
