And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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