I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
