i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
