Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
