In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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