I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
