man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.