Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
