Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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