And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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