Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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