It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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