All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
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i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
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Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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