I think I am morally bankrupt
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
