I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
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U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
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Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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