Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
