I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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