Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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