come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
