She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
