So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
