I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
