How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
