Tell her she can't have a vagina
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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