my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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