Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize