His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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