I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
