Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
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It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
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I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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