yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
