We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
