somebody snuck up and got me drunk
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
