playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
