Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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