i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize