never play flip cup with pint glasses
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
