so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
