Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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