remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize