Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
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