I can text with my tongue
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize