ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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