So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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