Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
