You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
