is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
